I may be showing my age here, but there is a song from the original Disney Channel movie “Newsies” (not the musical!) that is sung by the legendary Ann Margaret called “Hard Times, High Times”. I don’t know why it popped into my head this evening except it’s a good way to describe my attitude…almost.
“When there’s hard times, I think of high times…” the song goes. And tonight has been full of hard times. Especially one hard time that looks and sounds exactly like my four year old looks and sounds, especially when he has been with his dad, especially when I’m busy and tired and don’t have a lot of patience. So especially especially…tonight.
I get it…being four years old and having divorced parents is hard. Having one of those parents who works an odd schedule is even harder. And having both your sisters move out to live with dad, leaving you with mom is toughest of all. Which is why I try and remind myself that while divorce is hard on the adults, it’s even harder on the kids…especially a child who was so young when it happened he doesn’t know what it’s like to have mom and dad together at all.
Yet there are some times when its harder on the adults, specifically me. I’m tired from working all day, and got to school only to find out there is a Valentine’s Day party tomorrow I’m supposed to bring a treat for. So while I came home and tried to make dinner, I also had to make two dozen cookies and pray I had enough butter and sugar to last (cause I was not dragging my butt and a cranky kid’s to the store), and praise the gods I still had red sprinkles left over from The Maestro’s birthday cake last fall. I’m also trying to work on paperwork for our upcoming move, juggle schedules and coordinate pickups and drop offs this weekend because both girls have to be in two different places (at the same time!), and keep up on the house and laundry.
Hubby is at rehearsal (again), and is running late…and my son is currently crying about how mean I am because I got upset when he dumped a cup of water all over the kitchen floor…guess who gets to mop after she’s done making and icing those cookies?
I know this is a rant, I know this is venting and life could be way worse…but still…hard times are hard and life is hard and being a mom is hard and some times I don’t want to just sing about high times, I want to enjoy them. Preferably with a giant glass of wine and some silence while soaking in a hot tub. Since I don’t have any wine or a hot tub, I will have to make do with icing cookies and mopping floors and putting laundry away while waiting to see how late my husband will be tonight…and remind myself high times are coming. One day. Even if I have to schedule it into the calendar and plan it eight months in advance. Which I’m literally doing as I type this, by the way.
I know we keep saying “don’t worry Mom, you aren’t alone” but I feel like we need to keep saying it and remind ourselves we all have kids who dump water on the floor, we all have spouses that work late, we all have kids who need to be in six places at once, we all have exes who we have to get along with, and we all could use another three hours in the day-one for work, one for play, and one for sleep.
So if you too are stressed, know that you are not alone, I’m right here with you…and together we will get through this. Our kids will eventually sleep, our spouses will eventually come home, and we will eventually get that bath and wine…maybe not at the same time but at this point do we even really care?